Loss of a Friend, along with motivation

[M-Taliesin]

Howdy Folks!
I've lost quite a bit of motivation for metal detecting of late. Oh, I've done some hunting and made some good finds. I have all manner of cups and containers with coins and jewelry sitting on my desk and a nearby table, but just ain't had much enthusiasm for taking photos to show anything off.

Part of that loss of motivation lies in the loss of a friend. His name was Pyewackett, and he was a really beautiful Russian Blue. He was a loving animal and over the past few weeks, we've seen his health decline at an alarming rate. Finally it became evident that we no longer were doing any kindness by keeping him alive. He wasn't enjoying his final days. There came a day when I held him in my arms, stroked his fur and spoke gently in his ear. When I set him down on the floor, he wobbled and eventually just dropped to the floor, unable to support what was left of his weight.

We faced the inevitable truth, he was dying. We took him to the vet that day, knowing he wouldn't be returning with us. My wife cried, and I couldn't help part with a few tears of my own. He was an incredible pal and the love he brought into our home is sorely missed. His remains will be cremated and returned to us in an urn that we will keep here for the time being.

Another part of my loss of motivation lies in the fact that I do not like conflict. I hope I treat everyone as I would like to be treated. I sincerely hope I treat others with respect and dignity. Too often, however, folks are all too ready to be unkind and callous. I don't understand that sort of thing, but give as good as I get when I'm put-upon. Perhaps my loss of Pyewackett rendered me hypersensitive, but I feel things pretty keenly these days. We can all learn something from a creature such as I've lost. He gave his love without condition, did not judge my failings (which are many indeed) and was always a comfort when life filled with turbulence. He accepted human beings and other critters just as they were. He never was demanding or combative. He was a wonderful friend.

As his final weeks made clear we wouldn't have him in our family much longer, I just didn't want to be away from home hunting for trinkets of gold or silver. I didn't want to be out at some site with my detector only to receive a call from home that he'd passed away. I wanted to be there for him, and it is of some small comfort that I was there for him when his final moment came.

So you see, I am really sad about this loss and somewhat disspirited with things in general when it comes to forums. Perhaps this too will pass. I just don't know how.

Blessings,
M-Taliesin

[jkress]

Sorry to hear this news MT. He was a beautiful cat. Loved the pictures you posted.
I feel for you. One of the hardest things I have had to do was make the decision to
relieve the suffering of my 13 year companion... a siberian husky. The decision was
the easy part, the loss was the hard part.
Cherish the memories you shared with Pyewackett... they will last forever.
Hang in there, things will get easier. :)

[wingmaster]

Sorry to here about the loss of your cat,glad you was there for him. I have a dog thats getting pretty old that was by my side the whole time I was really sick not knowing if I was going to make it. She almost died once already a few years back because of addison's disease, I don't really want to think about losing her or how it will effect me. I'm sure that having addison's disease is taking some time from her, but as long as she's happy thats all that matters. Hope time will heal what your feeling now, and again sorry to hear about your loss.

[Snickerdoodle]

Aw MT sorry to hear about your dear cat I had a cat of the similiar color at one time beautiful and a dear companion. Snickers

[Tony Two-Cent]

We are cat lovers too and have three of them in our home, so I can understand what you are going though. My cat will turn 16 in a couple of weeks, so I am aware that the day will come when she will no longer be with us.

You will always remember Pyewackett, but the sorrow you feel now will lessen with time and eventually be replaced with happy memories. Very sorry for your loss.

[Dimeman]

So sorry to hear of the passing of your cat.

I know what you are going thru. Years ago our family dog who was 17 years old ( in our years) had a stroke paralying the right side of her body. She had been having small ones that affected her legs a few times.The last one she was suffering and made us feel for her. We took her to the vet and he said he could give her a shot to help her but eventually she would get worse.
We made a family decision to let her go.

Even though they have 4 legs and smaller in size they are family members and when they pass away no matter what the circumstances are, we mourn for them.

Condolonces to the loss of your family member.

Robbie

[sandals]

Mel...I am sorry to read about the loss of your cherished pet. Pets give us love unconditionally, like you said, and when we lose a pet, we lose that love and there is an emptiness inside. I understand your statements completely Mel and my heart goes out to you and your family.....take care.....

[MassDirtFisher]

Im sorry for your great loss. I sure do love animals, and losing one is a tough thing. Keep your chin up, and know that he is watching down over you.

[coinnut]

Mel, so sorry to hear about your family loss. We have lost two members about a year ago and one of them still tugs at us even today crying01 The love they give us is unmeasurable. Our cat Jet, had an extremely rare disease called Cushing's Disease. Dogs usually get this, but our cat somehow got it. This cat was one unlike no other and we have a long list of animals, but none ever like Jet. There is comfort in knowing that you provided a good quality of life for Pyewackett. Personally, I much rather the company of animals than people ;) Give it time to heal. Your passion for detecting can wait. As for the way people respond on forums?? I have found that most people that are very negative towards others usually have some problems in their lives too. They mostly come on and do these things out of frustration. I feel sorry for them, but I really can't tolerate them for long. They too will pass and things will get back to normal for you. Keep your chin up and remember the good times :)

[del]

a very hansome cat indeed . Mel i'm sorry for the loss of a cherrished friend .

[Viking]

He really was a good looking cat. We have two as well, and seeing them first thing after work is generally the best part of my day. They don't know or care about the stresses of the outside world, and I hope they never do.

I'm clear to see that he lived a great life in a loving home. That's something to be proud of. :yes:

[CyberSage]

I am so sorry for your loss Mel. Pyewackett had beautiful eyes. What an awesome cat. In 2004 my wife and I lost our 18 year old Grey Tabby. His name was Butch and he weighed a whopping 24 pounds! We also took that long last drive to the vet. I will never forget that drive. We went without a pet for about a year and a half. Then something wonderful happened. A 2 year old Orange Tabby came into our lives. His name is Beso (Spanish for kiss). A short time later a little girl cat by the name of Sage joined our family. Life goes on Mel, and while you will never replace Pyewackett, you will be graced by his spirit in the soft fur of another feline one day.

With my most heartfelt condolences,
Jack

Beso and Sage will never replace Butch, but he lives on through them.
http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o187/CyberSageBH3300/BesoSage-1.jpg

[aloldstuff]

A sad post indeed. The loss of a pet is a loss of a family member. Keep the memories alive. I have experienced losses of our pets and today they still tug at the heart. Time does ease the pain but in my case does not erase it. Pets are wonderful additions, better than some people in my opinion. Take your time healing over this loss, metal detecting can wait, just like that 100 year old coin has been waiting for someone to find it.

[MartinL]

Real sorry about your loss Mel. Don't know if that is a Russian Blue or a Chartreux you lost, but if it was a Chartreux, I have one that I adopted last year, a female. She was a stray that I took in, tiny thing, and I later found out the breed. They uniquely are dog-like, play all the time, and are very close to their owners, so I feel your pain since these animals are so naturally bonded to mostly one person. These are a very different kinda cats. martin

[RounderRick]

So sorry for your loss Mel we don't have any cats but have 2 dogs and I know how you feel they are family.

[v3ikid]

Sorry to hear of your loss Mel. I don't do well with words on these matters so i'll post a story i heard years ago. Surprisingly i remembered enough of it to find it on the internet. For me it is one of those stories that deals with loss and for me has put life in perspective at many points. Hope it helps


Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guestroom. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied...Things aren't always what they seem.

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next moming the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen! The first man had everything, yet you helped him. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die.

Things aren't always what they seem, the older angel replied. When we stayed in the basement of the mansion. I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I told him to take the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way that we think they should. If you have faith in God, just trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not realize it until much later.

[M-Taliesin]

Howdy Folks!
Thank you for your kind replies. I surely find them comforting.
It is why I remain on forums such as this one. There are terrific people on these forums, and though
there are a few really snarky people who contribute only malice, the majority are wonderful, thoughtful
and friendly folks! Sometimes we lose track of the good when things are not going very well.

We watched our Pye slowly decline, and gave him the love we were able. He returned it in kind, but
it was obvious that his time was coming and we'd face that decision sooner rather than later. When it
became obvious that his passing was imminent, I told my wife I wonder whether we are no longer
doing him a kindness? She agreed that we should take him to the vet. The next morning he was
visibly worse. She took off work early and we took him in. It was obvious that Pyewackett knew
it was time for him to go, and equally obvious that he was ready. I believe he knew in his own
mind that he was due. Doesn't make things much easier.

One way to cope with such loss is to open our home to another creature that desperately needs a
home. All of our animals are rescue animals. Gator (our Jack Russell), Talisman (our orange tabby)
and Pye were all rescued. Each of them would have died years and years ago if they hadn't been
rescued. We have given them a home filled with love, and they've all returned it many times over.

So we have adopted another cat, likely between 6 months to 1 year of age. He's mostly grey with a bit
of white, medium hair and fierce. He was sweet as can be at the shelter, but once we got him home,
he went feral on us. He sank his fangs into my arm and left a pair of tracks across my forearm. Both
my wife and I have been bitten and scratched. We have been working with him and he is starting to
mellow out. We took him in to get neutered yesterday and they told us he has a heart murmer in the
4 to 6 severity range. They were not sure he'd make it through surgery. I told them to go ahead,
and if it is intended that he live, he'll be fine. If it isn't the plan, he'll go.

The new cat is becoming better. We give him kindness, and he is mellowing. It will take time.
He just doesn't feel secure, may be feral, and is learning. Trust is something he needs to learn
and that may take awhile. We are patient people.

Anyway, he has a home. Once he understands he is safe and loved, I'm pretty sure he'll be a
great little cat.

Meanwhile, I keep a box of gauze pads handy, along with a good stock of adhesive tape!

Blessings,
M-Taliesin

[MartinL]

You surely know cat handling with a feral, but I learned a lot on Google when I enticed the one feral I adopted and made friendly. The main thing was to get down to their level, i.e. lay on the floor. Any animal, including man, which approaches a feral cat will be an instant threat. It didn't take me long to get a nice lap cat outta the feral though with just a little time and the low approach routine. One warning though. Watch out if you do get to the holding stage and ANYONE else pops around the corner. Things get real exciting fast, and the gauze will once again come in handy. I never adopted from a pound though. I read the stories of intense problems in many of those animals, so mine are usually migrants just passing through. martin