When I was still working at St Joe's a couple of years ago I had to carry my iphone, a work iphone, and a pager. Sometimes all three went off at the same time
So I hear you.
I only keep a Facebook account because my family insists on it and because we have an AD Facebook page which would go down if I took my personal account down. One of my "friends" from high school (he is a jerk) used to post every morning at like 5AM, all saccharine sweet syrupy stuff, talking about what a wonderful miracle day it is, how he is so grateful for all of life's gifts, how his profound love for his family keeps him alive, how each day is a new blessing, and on and on. Okay fine, once is good but every freaking DAY?!?! I had to tie my hands so I would not make a snarky reply. Then later I found out that he had been having an affair for the last 5 years, one of his kids was in prison and the other in rehab, and his house was in foreclosure. OMG. I hate Fakebook.
I thought flip phones were all in museums by now. My grandma, who died a couple of years ago at the age of 99, had an iphone 5. Do you still have beerdoodle over there?